Relationships were never designed for our personal benefit.
They were not given to us so that we could feel whole, validated, or fulfilled.

Yet this is how relationships are often approached. They are pursued in the search for happiness, stability, or identity. Love becomes the goal instead of the fruit. When this happens, presence is replaced with performance, and sincerity slowly erodes. People become assets instead of beings, and connection turns into consumption.

Love is present in every healthy relationship—whether work, romance, or companionship—but love was never meant to be extracted. It is meant to be expressed. The moment love becomes something we are trying to obtain, we stop participating and begin performing.

People are not tools meant to complete us. We were all made in the image of God. Though we appear different on the surface, we are far more alike than we are willing to admit. In this sense, we are never truly alone. Even when we enter the world as individuals, we are sustained by others. This is not weakness—it is design. This is the purpose of relationship.

To become whole again, the individual must seek holiness. Ironically, this is nearly impossible to do in isolation. Morality itself cannot be fully practiced alone. While certain virtues can be cultivated in solitude, they cannot be fully revealed there. Without another, there is no mirror. Without reflection, growth remains unseen.

Scripture affirms this at the very beginning:

“It is not good that man should be alone.” (Genesis 2:18)

This statement is not about companionship alone—it is about formation. Holiness is not shaped in isolation. It is refined through interaction. This is why wisdom does not develop in secrecy but through friction.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17)

Growth requires resistance. Without it, edges remain dull. Relationships are not meant to preserve us as we are; they are meant to shape us into what we are becoming.

This is why Christ speaks not of isolation, but of alignment:

“For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” (Matthew 18:20)

This is not merely a statement about community—it is a statement about completeness. Presence is revealed not through perfection, but through unity oriented toward something higher than the self.

What is missing in life is not found by searching for the ideal relationship or the perfect situation. When we do not know who we are, we cannot recognize who belongs with us. We drift endlessly, seeking something external to resolve something internal.

This is why function matters more than form in relationships. When relationships are devotional rather than transactional, they serve purpose instead of preference. We are not meant to define ourselves and then seek others to reinforce that definition. When we do, we drive away the very people meant to refine us, all while wondering why nothing ever changes.

There is only one who can define who and what we are. The work is not in creating that identity—it is in accepting it.

As you enter the weekend, reflect not on how you felt, but on how you functioned. Did your relationships move toward purpose, or were they maintained through performance? If they fell short, ask what stood in the way. External circumstances are easy to blame, but restoration always begins internally.

Sometimes the very things we resist are placed in our lives to shape us. The person you avoid may be the mirror you need. The conflict you dread may be the refinement you are missing.

Think beyond yourself.
Think holy.